7/17/2016 2 Comments Vulnerability.Vulnerability
[vuhl-ner-uh-buh l] adjective
(dictionary.com) Nobody really likes being vulnerable. We like feeling independent and secure. We like having money in saving accounts and having security systems in our homes. We like when we have hospitals near us and when there are life guards on duty. We don’t like being vulnerable. But yet we are. Everyday. We get in cars and drive, we tell people for the first time we love them. We fly on airplanes and we climb mountains. We expose ourselves. I’ve been interested in this topic for sometime now. I’ve been curious about how it changes every part of our lives. Physically, emotionally, but also artistically. I did what I always do when I have a question. I called a friend. Sarah, my dear friend and co-blogger of Gently Whole, responded to all of my questions with compassion and insight. I first asked what she thought vulnerability was and she surprised me. “Vulnerability, I think, is not only being honest and open with the people around you, [it’s] being honest with yourself. You have to acknowledge… what you’re feeling and how you’re feeling. And what caused you to feel that.” I was surprised by her acknowledgment of the self. I hadn’t thought of that. It’s so obvious! We’re most scared of ourselves. It’s hard to accept our weaknesses because we’re our own worst critics. It’s even hard to love who we are and to feel worthy. And what about when it comes to something like our passions? Those are the things we keep closest to our hearts. What we dream at night. What we do in the day. Our passions. I wonder how vulnerability influences my dreams? My art? I wonder if I’ll be successful, if I’ll ever get a job. I wonder if I’ll ever finish a book. I wonder a lot of things. I’m extremely self conscious when it comes to my work, because when I create something that I love so much and send it out into the world I’m making myself vulnerable. I’m giving the world another way to not accept me, to not like me. I’m giving myself another way to feel less worthy, to feel less whole. Hold on though! Accepting and using our vulnerability to help our work instead of hurting it, is to know that it will bring us peace. Why? Because it’s a step closer to accepting ourselves. I can’t fully accept myself unless I accept all the parts of me. Maybe that’s why I’m so scared of writing. I have to accept myself as an artist. I have to do that before I do anything else. Before I let anyone else accept or reject me. This is what it means to be the vulnerable artist. Of course, I asked Sarah what her opinion was. “I think it’s really important. It’s a beautiful thing to create something with your hands or your mind and craft something and be proud of it. And whether or not you have an audience, whether or not you share it or put it on display, to have something that you are honest about … is such an amazing thing. That’s what I love about the creative realm that we choose to be a part of.” Art, is a vibrant, holy thing that allows us to be compassionate, to be empathetic, and to be able to see what the world is like through someone else’s eyes. When we see a photograph, when we read a book, when we hear a certain song, we grow as humans. This conversation I had with Sarah sparked something inside of me. It made me remember something I had heard in a World Literature class. My professor was lecturing about the role of art in humanity. He was arguing that humanity imitates art. Art doesn’t imitate humanity. Art changes humanity. Art teaches humanity. The same time I heard this lecture, I was questioning my path as a writer. You see, I was raised by an accountant and a doctor. Their parents were nurses and doctors and teachers. There was no one who was a painter or an artist. I had people in my life who accepted me and told me I could do it, but no one was what I was. And so I had begun to rethink my decision. Then, in the middle of a spring semester, I heard a professor argue that my path was correct. That it wasn’t just correct or good, but it was necessary. Why? Because art is necessary. After remembering such a transforming moment for me, I asked Sarah if she thought art could teach vulnerability? I put my professor’s words to the test. “I definitely do. I think that whether or not you fully embrace this artistic thing, whether or not you have a talent for it or a love for it I think that art is designed to connect with people. People of all different backgrounds and mindsets. That’s the whole point of it. This human connection. We need to feel that we can share with people. And I think that goes back to vulnerability. I think that it goes back to the fact that we need other people to know how we’re feeling. We need other people to be there and say, “Hey I get you. I get that too and I understand.” You can transform someone into being more vulnerable and … to share parts of themselves even if they don’t have that kind of creative spirit or outlet. Because it is designed to make us connect with one another.” Vulnerability is the link that binds all of us together. Vulnerability is the same as oxygen. It’s necessary, just like friends and art. Written by Rachel
2 Comments
Dona Dixon
7/17/2016 01:23:03 pm
Perfectly said, Rachel!
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Stephanie Shanks
7/19/2016 06:16:14 am
This is so good and true. Needed this reminder. Keep writing.
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